Conversations with a Mystery Musician
Rather listen to this blog post instead?
I met (name) yesterday.
Fluting around on the NW side or Portland, OR.
He passed by and I said “Hey, that’s beautiful.”
He said “Thanks.”
It was only after he walked around the corner at the end of the block that I’d remembered a little snippet from Rick Rubin’s interview on the Broken Record Podcast: “Yea, I’ve just been really wanting to soothe people with my instrumental music, so these days I often go to the park and flute around.”
Goodness, that was (name) that just walked by.
I packed my books and hastened after him.
As I turned the same corner, I saw him–another half a block ahead, still slowly fluting down the sidewalk, there was Mr. Speakerbox himself.
“Excuse me!” I said, hopefully audibly, but not so loud as to startle.
“Yes?”
“You’re (name) aren’t you?”
“I sure am.”
“May I shake your hand sir?”
He obliged.
We shook hands. And then we began to chat.
I told him how I recognized him, and also how hard that podcast episode had hit me.
The conversation between him and Rick had been focused on inspiration. Over the years, (name)’s had been obscured. He wasn’t entirely sure what to attribute it to–the fame, the pressures of success, the lack of “A Dungeon”–but he was majorly stuck.
When asked what he’d been up to for the past several years he said “I’ve just been tinkering. A lot.” He had been struggling biting off another big project and instead had been just dabbling here–a couple notes on the piano while the iPhone recorded–and as I witnessed firsthand, fluting around in public spaces.
He and Rick circled around this topic for a while. Discussing how the old greats reinvent themselves and do “new” again.
They also talked about mental health; how high-performing artists are often blessed and cursed by emotional and psychological hypersensitivity. This aspect endows them with great abilities to craft impactful art, but also tends to alienate them from the world. Not new information here, but it was truly fascinating to hear how deeply (name) had pondered these topics.
No surprise there: what afflicts us fascinates us.
I stood there rehashing the podcast conversation play-by-play and just gushing about how much I related.
At first he was merely gracious and indulged me, saying how glad he was that the bearing of his soul had a positive impact somehow, especially because he was worried (nay, terrified) of how the episode might be received when released publicly–maybe he exposed a bit more of his underbelly than he’d initially wanted to.
After assuring him he made the right choice, the ice between us began to melt.
I asked him “So, since then…any new wisdom? Figure anything new out about bottling that Muse?”
This he could sink his teeth into.
“Mmmmm. Good question. No, not really. Still going through it.”
I believed him. One doesn’t flute around aimlessly if in the grips of inspiration and direction.
“Have you ever read ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron?” I asked.
“It’s funny you mention that. A buddy of mine has been bugging me about that too, for years. I read it, but never really went deep with the exercises.”
“Oh! Well you must! I’ll be bold here, but it may be your ‘the answer’.” I paused “But, we all know there is no such thing–a ‘the answer’. What I mean is, it may just be the framework necessary to ‘go through it’ as you mentioned.” I paused again “In fact, I really think you’re onto something. Going through it, whatever ‘it’ is, can’t be anything but right. NOT going through it–being stuck, stagnant–that sounds like the bad stuff. That sounds like the only way to do this whole ‘inspired creativity’ thing wrong. As long as you’re moving, you’re alive. Like a shark.”
He cracked that trademark grin “Yea, like a shark.”
He mentioned how Rick Rubin, on that same episode, had said “You just gotta make a lot. Don’t judge any of it while its being made. Afterwards though, you’ll look at something and think to yourself ‘Huh. That’s actually really good’ and then you’ll dive into what will probably become your next big project.”
I nodded “Yep, that’s what Julia says. That’s what Morning Pages are all about. Write 3 pages a day. 3 pages of garbage a day. 3 pages of garbage a day, on purpose.”
He nodded.
The rest of the conversation focused on productive but volatile and explosive partnerships, bonding over another book; “Rocket Fuel”. The rocket fuel metaphor is a very good one; the fuel used to blast off and get to the moon is highly combustible–both important for velocity, and risky for sustainability. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak–magnificent partnership, magnificent products developed, magnificent fallings out. And so the story goes with so many other “power couples”.
And we meant power couples. (name) said “I bet the same dynamics are present in business and in marriage. The same fuel that drives love can also kill it.”
Goddamn, this man is a thinker!
A final vignette from the podcast episode popped back into mind:
He and Rick had been discussing solitude and an artist’s tendency to isolate. They talked about the double edged sword of social anxiety; one side is you suffer when people are around, the other is you suffer when you’re not around people. How the thing you want is human interaction, but the discomfort drives avoidance.
And how when one isolates they tend to think. A. LOT. And that too much reflection can certainly be a bad thing at times.
As our conversation wound down, this sentiment stayed with me.
(name) was certainly “going through it”, and he was certainly still pondering all the same stuff I’d been pondering as I continue to “go through it” myself.
We both have been thinking a lot.
I haven’t solved many of the things I’ve been thinking about simply by thinking about them.
Recently (begrudgingly) I’ve been doing a bit more and thinking a bit less.
Seeing (name) just do by way of his “fluting around” felt like the same strategy.
So, just embracing the simple stuff today.
No big answers yet. But more fun stuff to try.
Join me in wishing him the best–that he finds whatever he’s fluting for.
And fire over a little somethin’ for me too if you’ve got excess sentiment to share ;-)
